The joy of not giving a toss cover image

How to save mental energy

Shaffay is all about bringing as much relaxation as possible into life, especially at home. Home is where we rest and recharge and, in order to rest and recharge, we need mental as well as physical relaxation. Finding ways to restore our mental energy is as important as physical rest. Perhaps one way is to consciously give ourselves a break from worrying about other people’s opinions?

Most of us seem to spend way too much mental energy on comparing our lives to others’ and being anxious about what other people think. We are taught from a young age to seek approval and validation from others, to fit in and conform to social norms – perhaps that is the reason for our insecurities. Weirdly, we tend to believe that others’ opinions of us skew wildly to the negative when, most of the time, that is completely inaccurate. 

We insist on comparing our lives unfavourably to others’ when we know very well that everyone has their problems and none of us really knows what is going on in someone else’s life, let alone what is going on inside their head.

It is all about perception. Your perception of others and what they think has a knock-on effect on what you think of yourself. And yet that perception is probably wrong most of the time. So, what if we stopped caring about what other people think? What if we embraced the joy of not giving a monkey’s?

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Not caring about others’ opinions brings freedom. When we’re not constantly worrying about how we’re perceived by others, we find the space to properly relax. Plus, we free up a ton of mental energy that could be applied to something, anything, more helpful and positive.

It brings a sense of empowerment too. When we’re not seeking some imaginary validation from others, we become more self-reliant and confident in our own abilities. We trust our own instincts and make decisions based on what we know is right for us, instead of on what we think others think we should do (which they probably don’t anyway).

Of course, not caring about others’ opinions doesn’t mean being rude or disrespectful (that’s not being true to yourself, it just makes you an ass). It’s about shifting what is going on in your head.

The whole “not giving a monkey’s” thing is, admittedly, much easier said than done. Maybe it’s not really possible. What is possible though, is that shift – of our own perceptions of what others’ think. Our suggestion? First of all, remember that other people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are. After all, most of us are mainly worrying about ourselves. And think about how you think about other people, particularly those who are important to you. Your opinions are nearly all positive, right? That’s how they are actually thinking about you too. When you find yourself ruminating about what others might think, focus on those important people. Try switching your inner voice to that of a good friend who loves you and talk to yourself as if you were that friend. They would be positive and encouraging and supportive, right again? Just as you would be to them. As for the people who aren’t important to you, that’s where you really can simply not give a monkey’s. Forget them and find that friendly voice again.

The joy of not caring about others’ opinions is a powerful thing. Free up that mental energy and relax!

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