Our verdict on women’s slippers and house shoes
No.1: Slipper socks – a crime against slipper style
When it comes to the world of indoor footwear for women, there is no denying it: crime against style is both heinous and rampant. There seems to be a broad assumption that we do not care what we wear on our feet at home. If we are honest, we must admit that, where many people are concerned, that assumption is probably quite correct. The importance of elegant slippers – good quality slippers – is not a.”thing” for lots if people. Perhaps it is the substantial majority who are perfectly content to schlep around the house looking like who-knows-what in their oldest, shabbiest clothes – their huffle buffs, that is. (Yes, that is a real word – honest; it means old, scruffy, comfy clothes.) However, there is a stylish minority who have historically been unforgivably unserved in the elegant home footwear department. Perhaps you are a member of that stylish minority. Some of us like to look good at home – and that includes our footwear.
We thought we would take a look at the types of house shoes and slippers that are generally available, and let you know our thoughts on each. Just for fun, you understand. This is not a matter of life and death, after all.
You will, no doubt, recognise each of the types that we mention and you will find that we, here at Shaffay, have issues with many of them. Most types actually. And big issues!
We are going to give each type a style rating and will be interested to see whether you agree with our assessments and scoring. We might also provide some numbers from the OIS (Office of Invented Statistics).
We are starting off with slipper socks. A good place to start, we think, because surely no one can argue that a slipper sock is a justifiable use of, well, anything..!
The sporks of the indoor footwear world
Slipper socks are like sporks: they try to do two jobs at the same time and do neither of them well. It’s an unsatisfactory pair of socks and a really bad pair of slippers in a single, wholly unappealing, bundle of home footwear. They ought to be called “slocks” really. That would be an appropriately unattractive name. Quite onomatopoeic too if you think of slocking around in a pair. One can imagine marketing people coming up with that name and then very quickly dismissing it (“Slippers…socks…SLOCKS! Yes! Oh, wait. No.”). A quick Google check appears to confirm that no one has gone down that route. (It also appears to confirm that the word is not an urban slang term for something dodgy – but we cannot guarantee that. Any which way, it’s probably best avoided.)
We are not talking elegant slippers for stylish women here. The slipper sock is, surely, a product for children. Most of us will remember receiving a pair for Christmas. Probably several Christmases. Remember being seven, opening up a gift of slipper socks and thinking, “where on earth has this genius invention been all my life?”. And then being delighted at how you could slide around in them…until you skidded into the corner of the dining table and cracked your head on it, that is. Everyone who has ever received a pair of slipper socks as a gift will remember wearing them on Christmas Day and maybe on Boxing Day too (only those who managed not to injure themselves the day before, obviously), and then finding them again years later at the bottom of a wardrobe.
Perhaps it is the simple fact that slipper socks make inexpensive Christmas presents that explains their continued existence. Aside from that, the appeal of the slipper sock is something of a mystery since it seems unlikely that a sentient adult would purchase a pair for their own use as, despite the extensive choice of slipper socks on the market, no acceptable-looking pair has, to our knowledge, ever been created. Usually, they come in horrifying patterns in lurid colours. Yet this children’s Christmas stocking staple has somehow slocked its way onto the adult footwear market. A wide variety of these horrors is available, ranging from what are essentially just thick socks with a pattern of rubbery grip set into the bottom to fairly substantial items with quite solid soles.
The slipper sock is, in our view, a significant offender in the register of home footwear crimes against style. For good quality slippers, for luxury women’s slippers, for stylishness of any sort…definitely look elsewhere. We are giving the stock a seriously low score. Do you feel the same?